How a book is ruining my life…

Such a simple task I was given, a fun one even, but I found myself wondering the aisles of CVS with my brain and heart pinging against each other.  Will I ever be the same?  Will I ever be able to go back?  I’m not sure.  I think I’m ruined.  The conundrum that plagued me; buying makeup.  But not just buying everyday makeup.  Buying makeup for girls who have been rescued from sex-trafficking.  What a fun opportunity to get to bless these young women who have endured horrible, inexcusable pain.  So I walked in and my typical cheap, uber money-conscious self walked straight to the dollar shelf.  My hand was practically hovered over a $2 foundation when I heard myself wonder “Would you buy that for myself?”  There are many cheap things that I willingly don on a regular basis.  But foundation is not one of them.  We women know the perils of cheap foundation.  Dry, cake-y, streaky, nightmares upon our skin.  The chance of a breakout alone is not worth the pretty price tag.  The answer was no.  No I wouldn’t wear it.  So why would I so willingly get it for someone that I would consider “less fortunate.”  If the second commandment is “Love your neighbor as yourself,” (Mark 12:31) then why do I willingly jump to the cheap rack?  So that I can get more things and feel better about myself?  I could buy 5o things for $50 or I could buy 12 higher quality items for the same. Why would I pick the former as the best option?

I blame Jen Hatmaker.  Her book “7” has put me to thinking about every move that I make.  I already made the decision not to get pajamas at H&M for these girls.  The idea of buying clothes from a sweatshop for girls who were rescued from similar situations seemed a bit counterintuitive.  How can I justify the celebration of freedom when it another is still in bondage?  Ouch.  So many jabs in the gut over this.  It’s a balance and yet it’s not.  I could go crazy over each purchase I make wondering the ramifications of my decisions.  Or I could just be more conscious about the decisions that I do make.  Sometimes being a good steward doesn’t just mean being a good steward of finances.  Sometimes it means being a good steward of time, relationships, and choices.

The book “7” taught me to be a conscious consumer as well as a conscious Christian.  How am I hurting when I want to help?  How are my decisions effecting others.  What can we all do to love our neighbor in the same way that we love ourselves?

(Side note:  I highly recommend the book “7” by Jen Hatmaker to you.  But be forewarned that you will clean out your closets and inevitably become a crazy person by world’s standards)

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